Silence

It seems that my Many friends regard me as a cold person,
cuz I'm not so easily influenced by other things,
like when some stuffs r happening/happened to me,
they can seldom feel that I'm sad from my face & behavior,
while my description of this crapping things,
it seems that i just told them someone else's life, not mine,
well...
actually I don't think that
i need say anything for my defense to respond this,
Neither do I think that i should act in an emtional way to
let others feel my humanity,
Aber, somehow, i'm ignored by the image of iron-heart,

In fact, I AM really a person who gets affected easily,
and i know I AM,
as others, in this situation, I AM also in a mess,
and i hate that, cuz that makes me feel even bad,
"I am already in such a sux place, how come should i
push myself to fall even deeper?"
so i realize that all i can do r just
looking through and letting it go,
all i want is not to let the influence last long,
back to normal as soon as possible!
at this moment, what i need is to be treated in a normal way,
i need sunshine, i need laugh, i need positive force,
but if i show up in a pathetic way,
then others start to comfort me,
i am really appreciate that, but that may not be the
positive force i need,

ok, maybe i am kind of freaky
and too rational,
but i don't show the usual feeling
that doesn't mean i can't feel it