homesick

i don't think i am the kind of person who is easier to get homesick,
but it always depends on the situation i face,

on this trip, i got homesick more easily than before,
maybe the trip was tougher and i needed to make more effort to stick it on,
to keep me going on,
more important, it was always that the end of the trip is the time back to home, TAIWAN,
where i could just get truely relaxed and free,
but this time (and also the next few times), it will be back to austria,
where is somehow like my second home, but it cant be so true,
of course i like to lie on my lovely bed in raabheim,
but it is not so like the feeling as going back to home,
though it is comfortable, it is just lack of something, spiritual,
affectional,

i can really understand what luc said,
when he wanted to share the feeling on the trip, but found no right person aside,
so he wrote the postcard in the way of talking to him/her,
when i wrote the postcard, it was always the time when i miss the person mostly,
i am so happy and so sad at the same time,
i'm happy cuz i share the feeling and experience,
i'm sad cuz he/she is not by my side,

several days ago, i got strong homesick when i woke up,
maybe i always had lots of dreams when i slept,
and those were all about the life in taiwan,
when i woke up, i found myself in a unfamiliar and very different place,
and i have to stay for more than half year before i'm home,
suddently i felt so frustrated and tired,
though i know that i also like and enjoy the life in europa,
if i really went back, i would be regretful,
however, at this moment, i just want to get something i used to,
like speaking chinese or taiwanese,
not my poor english or german,
but i could only take a deep breath and tried to keep me going on,

anyway, i felt better,
even if i started to think through my other trip plans,
cus i wonder that i may not be so strong to finish the whole journey,
well....let's see